Win-win is the most beautiful thing

26 Nov, 2025

I recently graduated as a yoga teacher and spent a long weekend in Singapore. As I walked around Marina Bay, both struck me as cases of win-win in action.

My yoga teachers are getting money and joy for teaching me a new way of enjoying life. Singapore became an economic success from very little, increasing the material means of millions.

Both are examples of creating something from less. Win-win can be this, or even something from nothing, from mere know-how or thoughtstuff. It's a miracle.

So many things can be win-win: markets, communities, relationships, art. These miracles happen around us every day.

I want to make more of them. In my own life and in my nation.

Examples of win-wins I have experienced of late:

• Commerce. Buying a delicious smoothie bowl on Ko Phangan
• Read a friend's blog post. We both get something from this. Both parties get something from many creative endeavours which are shared, even if the sharing is asynchronous (e.g.: poet records a poem, friend listens to it a month later)
• An evening where a small group of friends wrote and performed comedy sets
• Cooking dinner for someone I like. In this one I’m giving and it makes me happy, so it’s win win (of course the food was nice)

How to increase win-wins personally?:

• Be more visible online (hello!) So people better know what I like to do and can do. And what I need.
• Run events
• Be kinder
• Do more stuff generally

The above all increase your luck surface. More serendipity can happen. The difference is that win-wins are often fun in the moment too.

How to increase win-wins in society? The state does some things here, and could do more:

• Information coordination. Matchmaking across many domains, from jobs to communities to hobbies to dating. A state sponsored dating app could be the first to be fully aligned with the user's incentives! (Not to be naive... many people would have mixed feelings about this no doubt)
• Space coordination, especially good transport and town planning
• Subsidising win-wins such as community building and arts
• Sabbatical funding. Speculative. To increase many people's serendipity and win-win potential.

The above are separate to the win-lose zero-sum redistribution that the state also does. I see no issue with it doing both.

One challenge to win-win'ism: the idea is adding nothing new. It's talking about existing things a new way. To yous I say, (1) it hypes me, which alone is enough, and (2) it gets across the ludicrous plethora of win-win actions available to everyone.

Like, there are so so many. Miracles everywhere waiting to be performed.

The dark side is lose-lose Buying a very high status car costs you a lot, perhaps more than you gain, and leads to others around you feeling inferior. Similar is working very hard for more money, which can make you sadder and those around you feel inferior.

These are examples of status traps, which are a class of negative sum games. They involve negative externalities and negative internalities.

Such dynamics happen on a continuum, being in a status trap or not isn't binary.

For example, one economist found that a 3 day week would be optimal once you accounted for dynamic of others trying to earn more to keep up with the Jones¹. Of working harder to the detriment of themselves and others. This is not a concrete proposal, but you get the idea. And of course, how people respond to their neighbours gaining status varies wildly.

Where you can, do yourself and your friends a favour and avoid such dynamics.

If you're lucky, the state nudges you away from them.