The Ecstasy of Selflessness
A part of me really likes giving away large amounts of money.
I give to the world's most effective charities as identified by GiveWell and have done since 2013. In that time I've given quite a bit and saved a decent crowd of people from various diseases and horrible fates. Which I'm happy about.
For most of the last 12 years I've given away 10 - 50% of my income. The 50% lasted about 6 months. I was 27 at the time and had a much weaker conception of a future than I do now. Looking back it seems a very naive thing to have done - I'll buy property one day, maybe want a family, and did you know savings compound!?! - but I'm also very proud of that version of me.
For the first time since 2013 I'm giving away nothing right now. I'm on career break and have no income.
Once I'm back to earning I don't think I'll give away 50%, assuming it's a job with an unexceptional salary. But I will get back to giving more.
More than anything else, fear drives not giving. Fear of not having enough in the future. Maybe it's living in Thailand for 2 months, where I can live well on so little, but I'm not so worried about that now.
Other things get in the way too. It's not a normal thing to do. If I don't keep an eye on things I gravitate towards the normal thing.
It feels really good to give away, it's a joy, it's life. I'm living fully in line with my values: I really do believe everyone is equal. So if I can do something at low cost to myself which helps others a lot, I want to do it. It might be tapping into some mode in me that Christianity carved in place - so be it if so.
The Ecstasy of Selflessness is a thing to manage. There is a future to plan for. And it's extreme, which gives me caution, but this time I think it's good-extreme. It's the kind of extreme the world could use more of.