Gentle efforting
In a previous post I proclaimed running to be easy and fun. The key route to both the ease and the fun being to be gentler with oneself as one runs, and with one's ambition to run faster.
This combines two things: to be gentle with oneself while at the same time striving to improve. I call this gentle efforting and it applies to many more domains than running.
During the pandemic I was working from home, co-working remotely with a friend writing a PhD thesis. We both had big tasks which were unwieldy enough to be stressy (ok... mine wasn't at the level of PhD thesis but the stress was there). We had WhatsApp video calls where we'd set goals for 30 minutes, work silently, then share how it went, have a break (sometimes meditating in the break - getting dangerously close to productivity maximalism), and start the loop again.
We got a great deal done and felt great . There was much much less stress.
A small lesson from this: difficult ambitious work can be fun, even when it feels like that's impossible. The circumstances, company around you and processes can change this a lot. That doesn't mean all work can be fun, just more than one might expect.
And a question: why was this so effective?
My theory is that, between all the good practices we were following - e.g.: breaking small tasks into manageable chunks - we were never on edge, never pushing against the bone, almost relaxed. We were pushing - that's the effort in gentle efforting - but with softer and more encouraging inner and outer monologues.
So, how do you know you're doing gentle efforting?
Short answer: when you're feeling good and moving forwards. I suspect this makes the definition too broad, so let's say you feel some amount of softness too, to differentiate between this and a euphoric drug-induced productivity blur.
This is separate to other things which help achieve tasks, like clarity on the specific things you need to do to get something done. As one can lack these things and remain gentle, though I wouldn't advise lacking them.
Is it easier to do gentle efforting with a friend or colleague? Often yes. As gentle efforting is about the headspace one is in, assuming someone wants to be in that headspace, attempts to make it easier for them to achieve this can go a long way. Friends can give encouragement and sometimes kinder takes than one's inner monologue. The shared commitment can also help, as can knowing that the person in front of you wants you to succeed, and as can a bunch of other things. On the other hand I sometimes think best alone, so company isn't a must for all tasks.
I'm not affiliated with Ultraworking at all and don't know if exists still... but I really rate their Work Cycles planning template for pomodoro-like work intervals. It's best described as pomodoros on steriods. I recommend trying it for a series of tasks over 3-4 hours. You can make a copy of it here.
I'm reading a buddhist book right now - When things fall apart - which posits that we must always try to be kind to ourselves. Because we will treat other people how we treat ourselves. I think this is broadly true. Gentle efforting is an inner game that pleasingly spills into the outer world.